I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
