I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize
