Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
