real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
