i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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