But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Randomize
