I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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