I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Life is so much better after having sex.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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