Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
