you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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