If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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