Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
