Pants 0. Shit 1.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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