and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
