my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize