Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
