508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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