Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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