That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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