he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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