if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize