He asked to "fluff my boner.."
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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