I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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