i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
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