is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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