I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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