We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
It's just like the Real World with babies
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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