Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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