no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
