your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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