just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Small penises have feelings too.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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