they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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