It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
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