I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
