So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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