is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
