Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
