We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
