my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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