yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
