Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Boobs are out for the taking
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize