I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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