I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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