i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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