Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
