I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
