and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
