Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
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