i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
