I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
He better not be in your backpack
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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