it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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