Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
