I wannas sexs uuuuu
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
The police scanner is talking about you again....
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
