Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
