ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
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