for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
