i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
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