I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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