Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
The beer is more important than you right now.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Randomize
