And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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