Your mouth is God's brothel.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
