That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
